In a fiery outburst that surprised both company insiders and several workmen, Robert Rowley, MD, has challenged Archimedes to a trivia contest.
The surprising development occurred last week when Rowley, who serves as Chief Medical Officer for San Francisco-based EHR provider Practice Fusion, called over several carpenters that had been renovating the kitchen at the company’s new headquarters at 501 Folsom Street.
“I’m sick of all the attention Archimedes gets,” Rowley told the stunned workmen. “What’s he done lately?”
“This guy needs to put-up or shut-up,” Rowley continued. “I’m challenging him to a trivia contest and I will kick his gray beard all over the yard!”
According to the carpenters, Rowley then launched into a lengthy diatribe in which he claimed Archimedes knew nothing about electronic health records, had a paltry following on Twitter, and suffered from venereal disease.
The object of Rowley’s wrath is generally recognized to be one of the greatest mathematicians of all time. Archimedes was the first person to explain the principle of the lever, and the first to propose formulas for calculating volumes and surfaces of revolution. He also designed innovative machines like the siege engine and the screw pump that bears his name.
“But you can’t live in the past,” Rowley insisted. “I can take him down in American history. I can beat him in 60s music, Jazz even…and he’s weak on subatomic particles and the theory of evolution. I bet he hasn’t even seen Avatar!”
One badly-shaken carpenter broke for the exit during Rowley’s tirade, but not before stepping into a basin of teal blue paint, and then tracking it across the company’s new carpet.
Another apparently tried to call 911, but a Rowley confidant convinced the man that Rowley was OK and that he tended to get “scrappy like that from time to time.”
However another Practice Fusion employee, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said she has become increasingly worried about the normally reserved CMO since he had gold inlays carved into his teeth and tricked-out his Prius.
“He’s not been himself lately,” this person said. “I hope he’s getting enough sleep.”
Meanwhile, Practice Fusion officials said the matter was under investigation and issued the following statement: “Robert Rowley is the chief clinical architect of Practice Fusion’s Free, Web-based EHR. Dr. Rowley has spearheaded the company’s work in regulatory affairs and plays a key role in the company’s social media strategy. We have nothing but the highest praise for Dr. Rowley’s work and his contributions to date.”
Archimedes could not be reached for comment.
Glenn Laffel, MD, PhD
Sr. VP Clinical Affairs, Practice Fusion
